Thread: Awesome Puns!
View Who's Online
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Tags
Tags
None
Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools



Warrior Nation
Secondary: Diablo 3
 
United States WNxFireDrake
02-21-2005, 07:42 PM
Local Time: 11:32 AM
Join Date: Dec 2004   #
WNxFireDrake's Avatar
Wise man or fool?
Default
Awesome Puns!
Here are the 10 first place winners in the really awful International Pun Contest. One can only wonder what the losers were like.

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The Stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam"!

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them smile. No pun in ten did...




"The wise make proverbs and fools repeat them." -Isaac D'Israeli
 
 
WNxFireDrake is offline
 

Warrior Nation
 
WNxDaranai
02-21-2005, 08:00 PM
Unregistered
#
. I like the last one.



 
 
 

Warrior Nation
 
WNxMajik
02-21-2005, 11:24 PM
Unregistered
#
Hahaha, I REALLY liked those for some really sad reason.



 
 
 

Warrior Nation
 
WNxMilo
02-22-2005, 01:11 AM
Unregistered
#
opkokokok so two scientist go out to study bears, a guy from the czech republic and a russian. After 2 weeks they didn't return so a search party was sent out for them. The party found they camp the scienist were in compltly trashed with two bears sleeping in the tent, a male and a female. So the only thing they could do was knock out the bares and open their stomachs to see if the scientists were eaten. They opened up the female bear and sure enough there was the remains of the russian. One of the surgens turns to another and says "You know what this means right, the Czechs in the male"



 
 
 

Warrior Nation
 
WNxReaper
02-22-2005, 02:00 AM
Unregistered
#
HAHAHAHAHAH!

I love em, and Milos too!

_Reaper_



 
 
 

Warrior Nation
 
WNxDaranai
02-22-2005, 07:06 AM
Unregistered
#
I didn't get Milo's...



 
 
 

Warrior Nation
 
WNxSteak
02-22-2005, 07:37 AM
Unregistered
#
Check in the mail = Czech in the male



 
 
 

Warrior Nation
 
WNxIsak
02-22-2005, 08:26 AM
Unregistered
#
I like the one about gandhi



 
 
 

Warrior Nation
 
WNxVintage
02-22-2005, 08:59 AM
Unregistered
#
Those are awesome. I didn't think number 3 was all that number 3 worthy, due to the fact that I didn't get it at first! >.<

But the rest rocked. INumber 10 stands out to me for some reason.



 
 
 

Closed Thread

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.


Make a Donation to Warrior Nation with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure! Disclaimer©1998-2014 Digital Millennium Copyright Act.
WN Custom Skin Design by WNxWakko
Webmasters: WNxWakko & WNxWhiteWolf

Make a Donation to Warrior Nation with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!


Navbar with Avatar by Kolbi
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:32 AM.